English
Documentation
Love, time, and everything
Doris Cerna Peruvian, Immigrant and Child Care Provider
Doris Cerna moved to the United States from Peru with her husband and two small boys in december of 1990. She has been a supernumerary member of Opus Dei since 1985. She met Opus Dei through her dance. In Peru, she had been a member of a professional dance group for ten years. Their specialty was Peruvian Folk dancing. She had a friend who loved Peruvian Folk dancing and asked if she would come and perform at a center of Opus Dei in Peru. Doris did, and that was the first time she set foot in a center of Opus Dei.
What I want
Sometime after that she was invited to attend a retreat directed by members of Opus Dei. She did, and she loved it. “After the retreat I was very moved. I wanted to read more about the founder so I got this book, the name of the book was The Founder of Opus Dei. So, I was reading and reading and then by the end, I thought, this is what I want. So I asked if I could join. But they made me wait, so first I got married then after that I joined the Opus Dei,” recalls Doris.
She married in August 1985 and then joined Opus Dei in December of that year; she was 29 years old at the time. They have lived in California since moving to the United States. With her two sons in college now, she and her husband are hardly empty-nesters. Doris runs a child care center in her home. At the time of this interview, she has about six little children on the premises. And the house could not be more peaceful and serene. It seems an impossible feat.
My second home
"My first five years in Opus Dei I was living in Peru. When we moved here I was totally alone with my family - just my husband and my two kids, but not my extended family, so I found the Work really helpful.
I was totally involved and I had peace, a lot of comfort. All this formation when I was just new in the Work helped me to survive here (San Jose, CA) because I was alone with nobody to help me to cope. And I learned how to cook here and I learned how to be a mama because I was alone with my boys. So, it was very hard. But I got support from the priests of the Work and the numerary I received spiritual advice from with. And reading, doing a lot of reading. So, the Work was my second home.
Working, studying and running a business
When I moved to this country I decided to study English. I went to college – I arrived here December 8, and the first week of January I was already enrolled in Foothill College which is very close to here, Los Altos Hills and decided to take English as a second language. At the same time my boys were attending their preschool and I was very interested to help in the preschool, to volunteer, and I liked it. That was something new for me. I never thought that I wanted to be a teacher. So, when I was taking my English class and they asked me if I wanted to do a career, so I decided to choose my career as a teacher. So, I was taking classes, but just like one class per quarter because my boys came first.
I managed to go to college, to work part-time in the children’s center and at the same time help my boys. And then when the boys moved to elementary school, I kept that same job. I was in that job for nine years working as assistant teacher.
At same time I was studying to be a teacher. I was learning a lot. And then I thought, I’m going to do this in a family setting because I can still do my job as a mom and take care of the boys. And at the same time I can help my husband and have a business. I’ve had my business now for four years.
12 children and a network
I’m licensed to have 12 children, and right now it’s almost full. I just have a couple of kids who are coming for a few hours because they are little. But most of the time the school is full and I have waiting list, and people who are calling all the time.
I try to refer them to friends I know who have spaces in their day care centers. We have like a network. We want these families to go to nice places because there are a lot of family daycares, but some are not really safe. We want the parents to go to really good places where the kids can be very safe.
My vocation, my business and my work
This is the place I need to sanctify first. And in doing my job the best I can, I can sanctify myself because I’m offering this to the Lord.
The people who send their children here aren't in Opus Dei. I have just a few Catholics, most of them are Christians. And I have one lady who does not practice any religion. She’s from Syria. But she is not Christian or Muslim, and her husband is Jewish. They are a very nice couple. And they are involved, they want to help. And then I have one couple who are from India. They are not Catholic, but her child is here for almost two years, and this child is the one who wants to know more about Jesus and he’s happy about Christmas. The parents are very open.
The day-to-day work: How my vocation to Opus Dei have an impact in my deal with the children
First of all, this is my opportunity to practice the Beatitudes like patience because to have seven or eight toddlers together at the same time is very crazy, so that gives us the opportunity to have lots of patience. It’s a challenge because sometimes we can lose our temper and we need to control it, we need to give good example.
This job gives me the opportunity to try to live the Beatitudes and not only that, to teach the kids the Beatitudes like meekness and to be kind with each other – to be attentive about other kids’ needs and to help each other to work as a group.
So, it’s great for me because I have to do it and teach the kids and to make sure they send that message home. Because each month I send a letter for that month and I tell the parents what I need for that month, what activities we’re going to do. And I tell them a little bit about Beatitudes, and I ask the parents to try to talk to me so they need to follow what we are doing here. I want them to follow at home because the kids need to have the same language here and at home. Otherwise, they get confused.
The parents are open. Most of these couples, they have only one or two kids and they’re always complaining. So, I decided to have a meeting with each of them. Every four months or five months and I sit down, especially with the moms, and talk about how they are doing at home, how business is, and this and that. In that time, I can tell them how important it is for them to be focused on their kids.
I tell them that I am glad to care for the children, and I suggest that when they are home, they should try to, as much as possible, to be involved with their child. Because later on these kids are going to be five, six, seven, and that’s it. Otherwise, they are not going to have generally good bonds between the moms and kids because most of the time the kids are with us.
Sometimes they call us Mom, and I say, “No, I’m not your mom, I’m your teacher. And Mommy’s going to be here very soon.” So, they need to know.
The best invest
Some mothers are working in the morning, and then they are taking some work home, so they can finish the rest of the hours at home at night when the kids are sleeping, or something like that. Because my experience is that it’s better to invest now giving as much as possible everything to your kids: love, time, and everything. And then you are okay, you are not going to have problems when they are teenagers or when they are adult. Because, for me, most of the problems right now are because the kids are really lonely, very sad. They don’t have the affection from the parents, they are insecure. And when they go to school they have to live with a lot of pressure, peer pressure, and their homework. A lot of kids do the sports and this and that. It’s too much for the kids, it’s too much.
They need to be kids. They need to be able to play with Mom, with Dad. Sometimes moms and dads, they are coming back from their job, they don’t have time to play. I think, according to the circumstances, it’s okay if they have to go to work, but they can look for a part-time jobs. That’s my advice.
But if that’s no possible, they need to figure it out how to be very together, husband and wife, so when somebody’s doing something, the other one needs to be with the kids.
My husband
My husband is not a member of Opus Dei, but he loves it a lot. My boys they received a good Catholic education. They both know about vocation. We were talking about it, they know that I never push them, because that’s something that they need to deal with on their own.
How to fit a plan of life in a busy day
8.00 a.m. I attend 6:30 a.m. Mass. Mass, then after Mass, I spend prayer time with our Lord. And then I come back and have my breakfast, and we open the school. Then around 10:30 am the kids go for a walk, two teachers help with these children. They go to the park or someplace, and at that time I take advantage to pray some more. Then at noon – and then in the afternoon, after my lunch, I go for a walk. And I need to go for my daily walk. And then I pray my rosary.
And then after everybody’s gone, that’s 5:00 pm, I have a 6:00 pm dinner with my husband now the boys are out – are gone, and then my husband has to go to work. Because from here and Germany there’s nine hours difference, so he needs to be there ready like around 8:00 pm, 9:00 pm, because the boss goes to work around 8:00 am over there, and here it’s 11:00 pm. So, my husband is working there until 11:00 pm, and I have time to do my spiritual reading because I’m alone.
A friendly apostolate
I try to have a really strong friendship with the mothers. I talk a lot with each one, so when they come in the morning or they leave in the afternoon, I try to show interest in what they’re doing with business or career, and I try to get to know a little bit about their life. So, this is my personal apostolate.
I pray for them. I offer when I’m changing diapers or I’m tired, my back hurts because all day I am changing diapers and -- sometimes I’m just so tired that I say this is for the five families and keep going because with these kids it’s 5:00 pm and they’re still running around. And I’m just totally exhausted.
Women of Opus Dei: In Their Own Words, eds. M. T. Oates, Linda Ruf and Jenny Driver, published by Crossroad (2009)
Doris Cerna moved to the United States from Peru with her husband and two small boys in december of 1990. She has been a supernumerary member of Opus Dei since 1985. She met Opus Dei through her dance. In Peru, she had been a member of a professional dance group for ten years. Their specialty was Peruvian Folk dancing. She had a friend who loved Peruvian Folk dancing and asked if she would come and perform at a center of Opus Dei in Peru. Doris did, and that was the first time she set foot in a center of Opus Dei.
What I want
Sometime after that she was invited to attend a retreat directed by members of Opus Dei. She did, and she loved it. “After the retreat I was very moved. I wanted to read more about the founder so I got this book, the name of the book was The Founder of Opus Dei. So, I was reading and reading and then by the end, I thought, this is what I want. So I asked if I could join. But they made me wait, so first I got married then after that I joined the Opus Dei,” recalls Doris.
She married in August 1985 and then joined Opus Dei in December of that year; she was 29 years old at the time. They have lived in California since moving to the United States. With her two sons in college now, she and her husband are hardly empty-nesters. Doris runs a child care center in her home. At the time of this interview, she has about six little children on the premises. And the house could not be more peaceful and serene. It seems an impossible feat.
San Jose (California)
"My first five years in Opus Dei I was living in Peru. When we moved here I was totally alone with my family - just my husband and my two kids, but not my extended family, so I found the Work really helpful.
I was totally involved and I had peace, a lot of comfort. All this formation when I was just new in the Work helped me to survive here (San Jose, CA) because I was alone with nobody to help me to cope. And I learned how to cook here and I learned how to be a mama because I was alone with my boys. So, it was very hard. But I got support from the priests of the Work and the numerary I received spiritual advice from with. And reading, doing a lot of reading. So, the Work was my second home.
Working, studying and running a business
When I moved to this country I decided to study English. I went to college – I arrived here December 8, and the first week of January I was already enrolled in Foothill College which is very close to here, Los Altos Hills and decided to take English as a second language. At the same time my boys were attending their preschool and I was very interested to help in the preschool, to volunteer, and I liked it. That was something new for me. I never thought that I wanted to be a teacher. So, when I was taking my English class and they asked me if I wanted to do a career, so I decided to choose my career as a teacher. So, I was taking classes, but just like one class per quarter because my boys came first.
At same time I was studying to be a teacher. I was learning a lot. And then I thought, I’m going to do this in a family setting because I can still do my job as a mom and take care of the boys. And at the same time I can help my husband and have a business. I’ve had my business now for four years.
12 children and a network
I’m licensed to have 12 children, and right now it’s almost full. I just have a couple of kids who are coming for a few hours because they are little. But most of the time the school is full and I have waiting list, and people who are calling all the time.
I try to refer them to friends I know who have spaces in their day care centers. We have like a network. We want these families to go to nice places because there are a lot of family daycares, but some are not really safe. We want the parents to go to really good places where the kids can be very safe.
My vocation, my business and my work
This is the place I need to sanctify first. And in doing my job the best I can, I can sanctify myself because I’m offering this to the Lord.
"Children always want this closeness, this fraternity, with their parents. It is a question of trust. Parents should bring up their children in an atmosphere of friendship, never giving the impression that they do not trust them". (St Josemaria, Conversations, n. 100).
The people who send their children here aren't in Opus Dei. I have just a few Catholics, most of them are Christians. And I have one lady who does not practice any religion. She’s from Syria. But she is not Christian or Muslim, and her husband is Jewish. They are a very nice couple. And they are involved, they want to help. And then I have one couple who are from India. They are not Catholic, but her child is here for almost two years, and this child is the one who wants to know more about Jesus and he’s happy about Christmas. The parents are very open.
The day-to-day work: How my vocation to Opus Dei have an impact in my deal with the children
First of all, this is my opportunity to practice the Beatitudes like patience because to have seven or eight toddlers together at the same time is very crazy, so that gives us the opportunity to have lots of patience. It’s a challenge because sometimes we can lose our temper and we need to control it, we need to give good example.
So, it’s great for me because I have to do it and teach the kids and to make sure they send that message home. Because each month I send a letter for that month and I tell the parents what I need for that month, what activities we’re going to do. And I tell them a little bit about Beatitudes, and I ask the parents to try to talk to me so they need to follow what we are doing here. I want them to follow at home because the kids need to have the same language here and at home. Otherwise, they get confused.
The parents are open. Most of these couples, they have only one or two kids and they’re always complaining. So, I decided to have a meeting with each of them. Every four months or five months and I sit down, especially with the moms, and talk about how they are doing at home, how business is, and this and that. In that time, I can tell them how important it is for them to be focused on their kids.
Sometimes they call us Mom, and I say, “No, I’m not your mom, I’m your teacher. And Mommy’s going to be here very soon.” So, they need to know.
The best invest
Some mothers are working in the morning, and then they are taking some work home, so they can finish the rest of the hours at home at night when the kids are sleeping, or something like that. Because my experience is that it’s better to invest now giving as much as possible everything to your kids: love, time, and everything. And then you are okay, you are not going to have problems when they are teenagers or when they are adult. Because, for me, most of the problems right now are because the kids are really lonely, very sad. They don’t have the affection from the parents, they are insecure. And when they go to school they have to live with a lot of pressure, peer pressure, and their homework. A lot of kids do the sports and this and that. It’s too much for the kids, it’s too much.
But if that’s no possible, they need to figure it out how to be very together, husband and wife, so when somebody’s doing something, the other one needs to be with the kids.
My husband
My husband is not a member of Opus Dei, but he loves it a lot. My boys they received a good Catholic education. They both know about vocation. We were talking about it, they know that I never push them, because that’s something that they need to deal with on their own.
How to fit a plan of life in a busy day
8.00 a.m. I attend 6:30 a.m. Mass. Mass, then after Mass, I spend prayer time with our Lord. And then I come back and have my breakfast, and we open the school. Then around 10:30 am the kids go for a walk, two teachers help with these children. They go to the park or someplace, and at that time I take advantage to pray some more. Then at noon – and then in the afternoon, after my lunch, I go for a walk. And I need to go for my daily walk. And then I pray my rosary.
A friendly apostolate
I try to have a really strong friendship with the mothers. I talk a lot with each one, so when they come in the morning or they leave in the afternoon, I try to show interest in what they’re doing with business or career, and I try to get to know a little bit about their life. So, this is my personal apostolate.
I pray for them. I offer when I’m changing diapers or I’m tired, my back hurts because all day I am changing diapers and -- sometimes I’m just so tired that I say this is for the five families and keep going because with these kids it’s 5:00 pm and they’re still running around. And I’m just totally exhausted.
Women of Opus Dei: In Their Own Words, eds. M. T. Oates, Linda Ruf and Jenny Driver, published by Crossroad (2009)
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