I am my children’s ‘window’ into the world

Li-hsien Lin, Taipei

May 2, 2009

Tags: Sickness, Children, Marriage Yi-yun, my third child, was born on January 6, the feast of the Epiphany of the Lord. We just couldn’t take our eyes off her; her sisters especially were filled with wonder as they looked at her.
One day, when she was four months old, we had a camera ready to get a picture of her face when she took her first mouthful. Suddenly her eyes became fixed and she stopped breathing. After a minute she returned to normal, as if nothing had happened. We took her to hospital but they couldn’t find anything wrong. But just as we were leaving, the same thing happened again. She was taken into intensive care, and shortly afterwards the doctor diagnosed her with epilepsy.

At that point I felt totally unable to cope with the situation, but I found that God never asks us for more than we can give. Lots of people were supporting us with their prayers, and the sickness was brought under control. Two months later we found we were expecting our fourth child. I was worried about whether I could look after Yi-yun and the new baby at the same time. But through St Josemaria’s teachings I’d learnt what ‘omnia in bonum’ means: everything works for the good of those who love God. “It looks as if the whole world is coming down on top of you. Whichever way you turn, you find no way out. This time, it is impossible to overcome the difficulties. But, have you again forgotten that God is your Father? – all-powerful, infinitely wise, full of mercy. He would never send you anything that is evil. That thing that is worrying you, it’s good for you, even though those earthbound eyes of yours may not be able to see it now. Omnia in bonum! Lord, once again and always, may your most wise Will be done” (The Way of the Cross, Ninth Station). So I left everything in God’s hands.

As I write this article Yi-yun is taking her primary school entrance exam. She is now seven. When she was born I already knew about St Josemaria’s teachings, and had joined Opus Dei, and my husband had been baptized. I had learned from St Josemaria that every child is a gift from God, and Yi-yun really is bringing joy to everyone.

Our only son was born when Yi-yun was fifteen months old. Yi-yun’s development was slower than normal, but in spite of that, she took great care of her little brother. For example, she used to pat him gently on the tummy to help him sleep well, and it worked!

By the time she was two, Yi-yun had not yet begun to talk. She was diagnosed with medium-level autism. My son Yi-zhen also suffers from moderate-level autism. When they gave me the diagnosis, I just couldn’t stop crying. It took me several days to overcome my tears. I realized that I am my children’s ‘window’ into a world that seems to have no room for people who are sick. At three and a half, Yi-zhen could only repeat words and sentences that people said to him, but did not understand them. When the diagnosis was confirmed, I didn’t have time to cry. The only thing on my mind was what kind of help did he need, and how I could give it. Yi-yun and Yi-zhen are two special blessings from God. They have an angelic simplicity, they notice little details that other people ignore, they pray, and I think they are especially loved by God.

Yi-zhen has an over-sensitive sense of touch, and the slightest rub or knock is very painful. But he is doing exercises, and overcoming it little by little. A few days ago I began coughing while I was driving. Suddenly, I felt a little hand patting me on the back. It was a sign of sympathy, a great step forward for an autistic child. Our two children turn ordinary little details into something quite extraordinary, something magnificent. What’s more they make those who know them want to be better people.

The results of the latest tests of Yi-yun’s intellectual coefficients show that she is overcoming her autism, although she still suffers slight mental retardation. Her epilepsy is controlled by medication. Trusting in my Father God, I know that all our efforts won’t be in vain. The marvelous chapter of music therapy is just about to begin.

At the beginning I thought that looking after my children would take up all my time. But now, if I organize things properly, I find time for activities in the service of others. A few years ago some friends of mine and I set up a schoolgirls’ club for six- to twelve-year-olds, aiming to help them develop virtues. My experience is a stimulus for me to help them prepare for a life that offers so many joys and also some sorrows, which can turn into a treasure when we understand their true meaning.