There is no room for sadness

Pierluigi Bartolomei, professor of the Elis Center Training School, Rome

October 6, 2002

Tags: Children, Marriage, Ordinary life Interviewer: Josemaria Escriva was a happy man. It is enough to see the film clips where he is willing to offer a smile and some words of encouragement to those present. But what is the secret of his constant good humor?

Pierluigi Bartolomei: Opus Dei has helped me to strengthen my joyful and creative character. This began with a deeper understanding of the most fundamental teaching of Josemaria Escriva: divine filiation. Once you know that you are child of God, there is no room for sadness.

Int: Therefore, is a Christian essentially an optimist?
PB: According to my own personal experience, yes. There have been difficult moments in both my private and my professional life. But I have been able to overcome the obstacles, thanks to the formation that I have received in the Work and the awareness that I am a son of God. Our Lord has always given me the help I have needed and He has never left me alone.

Int: Does a good spiritual life help a person be happy?
PB: To answer this question, it is necessary to understand why we sometimes feel sad. Usually we feel sad when we have fallen out with a friend, a relative, a colleague or a neighbor. The same thing happens with God. If we feel in our conscience that we have done something wrong, we stop smiling. We break off communication with Our Lord. This is a sort of blackout, an emptiness, which darkens our hearts.

Int: And what do you do to recover that light and happiness?
PB: Fortunately there is Confession, which helps us to reconcile fully with God. Josemaria Escriva was a person who was always happy because he believed in having a constant and personal friendship with God. He used to say that he was a sinner who trusted in the mercy of God, who is the Father of all human beings. He always encouraged people to begin and begin again, without ever getting discouraged by our failings. I think that this is a great lesson that can help us not to lose our optimism.

Int: What was happiness for Josemaria Escriva?
PB: It is something important that we share with others. He always encouraged those he met and tried to communicate his great love for life to them. In the vocation to Opus Dei - which does not distance a person from the world - happiness plays a fundamental role. A happy smiling person has more opportunities of bringing others closer to God. Happiness is also a valuable instrument in apostolate.

Int: But is it possible to always be happy even though there are difficulties in life?
PB: Naturally, I am not referring to a superficial happiness. True happiness is not that which is found in those who are always laughing. We all know that life sometimes brings moments of difficulty, of uncertainty, and that these test us. What matters is to keep one’s interior peace and serenity. That strength, as I have said already, comes from the awareness of our divine filiation.

Int: You have mentioned this concept before, but what exactly does it mean to be a child of God?
PB: I will try to explain with an example. Sometimes, children are afraid. They don’t completely understand what life entails and they can be afraid of something new that they don’t seem to understand. When my daughter gets frightened, I give her a hug and tell her, “I am here, don’t worry. No one will hurt you.” In that way, my daughter calms down and is not frightened of anything. The same occurs with God, who holds us closely in His loving arms. If we are at peace with Him, we have nothing to fear. Happiness is guaranteed. For this reason, Josemaria Escriva was always happy and he shared this interior happiness with others.

Int: Do you try to share this spirit also with your family?
PB: Along with my wife Manuela, we try to communicate this spirit with a little bit of creativity. We try to leave some time aside in order to have some fun with our children. For example, on Sundays we dance to South American music. In the evenings, after dinner, we get together in the sitting room to talk, play and tell a few jokes. This helps us to see our daily problems and tensions less dramatically. And if there are problems, we try to deal with them in a positive way. Another important moment is what we like to call our “reading club”. On Wednesday evenings, we create a relaxing atmosphere at home with drinks and chips. In this way, we try to encourage our children to read a good book.

Int: Do you and your family watch television?
PB: In my opinion, a disproportionate use of television does not create a happy atmosphere at home. Families used to talk more to each other. They used to get together to talk about personal experiences, to seek advice from one another and to listen. Unfortunately, nowadays, television often takes the place of family communication and it kills conversations. With our children, we try to provide alternative ways for them to use their time. Apart from the things that I have already mentioned, we also like puppet theatres a lot. The children invent their own stories for each scene. In this way, they can take a happy and active part in their own pastimes.

Int: You could say then that you can be happy with very little?
PB: Really, very little is necessary to be happy. With some dolls and some thread, you can create a small theatre and invent an endless number of stories. All of these things are part of the spirit of Opus Dei and the teachings of its Founder, who invited everyone to sanctify themselves through the ordinary situations in life. It’s very simple. There is no need to do extraordinary things. As we try to do ourselves, happiness can also be found in small things: a book, a conversation in the sitting room, a story, a South American dance… This is the greatness of ordinary life which Josemaria Escriva has helped us to discover.