Was I born for something in particular? Tags: Friendship, Love of God My earliest childhood memories are of living in a small yurt (Kazakh tent) on the steppe, in a family of shepherds. On hot days in June I used to like to lie on the cool banks of the River Volga and think about life, asking myself questions, while I looked over the top of the yurt at the birds flying high up in the sky. At first I lived with my uncle, and later with my cousin and his wife. When the time came for me to choose a job, I became a river pilot on the River Irtysh. I cannot express the way I felt at that time, especially when I was sailing the boat at night and had time to think. While I listened to the song of the birds or the distant voices of people from far away, I would wonder, for example, “Does my life have any meaning? Was I born for something in particular? Does God exist? Who made all this beauty?” I arrived in the city of Tobolsk. There I went into an Orthodox church for the first time and I seem to remember thinking about life, and faith, and the existence of God. Before, when I had spent time in my parents’ house, I remember that they prayed and practiced fasting at Ramadan, the Islamic holy month. But in the Soviet Union it was said that God did not exist. When you see so many contradictory opinions, you at least begin to wonder who is right. Later, in Riga, I first saw a Lutheran church, and then a Catholic church. I liked that one a lot. That was how I first learned of the existence of the Catholic faith. The organ, the statues and pictures of saints, the angels. Then I began to ask myself many more questions. “Why was Jesus crucified? What did he rise again for? How can Mary be the Mother of God? Who am I really? Where am I going? What am I here for?” But there was no answer. In any case, my visit to that cathedral, which I found astonishingly beautiful, awoke some deep spiritual sense in me. It was in Almaty that I got to know a priest of Opus Dei. We used to meet and talk about the Catholic religion. The priest talked to me about the Gospel and gave me spiritual books to read. Afterwards he would ask me about what I had read, and when I didn’t understand something he explained it. One day he invited me to go to Mass, and that is how we made friends. With each conversation we had, I learned more and more about the New Testament. I shall always be grateful for this. Then I met other members of Opus Dei. I heard that the founder of Opus Dei, Josemaria Escriva, said we can be saints through our ordinary work. That means that everyone can be a saint, each of us can be one. I didn’t know that before. I soon became a Co-operator of Opus Dei. In 2001, on the invitation of the President of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev, his holiness Pope John Paul II came from the Vatican on a visit to Astana, the capital of my country. I thank my Catholic friends, members of Opus Dei, with all my heart for inviting me to go with them to meet Pope John Paul II. We traveled by train and at last arrived at the square where the meeting was to take place. The Pope arrived, and he blessed all those who were in the square! All of us – Catholics, believers in other religions, those who had just come to the square, and atheists. All of us! So, I thought, I too have been blessed by the Pope. Afterwards he celebrated Holy Mass. After this, little by little I began to see things with fresh eyes. My view of life changed so much that I started (and this really made me think) to consider seriously the possibility of being baptized. In 2002 I was able to see the Pope again, this time at the canonization of Josemaria Escriva, founder of Opus Dei, in the Vatican. On October 6, I was one of the people in St Peter’s Square, where other Co-operators and friends from all over the world were also gathered. The most moving, joyful and intense moment was when finally Josemaria Escriva was added to the list of Saints. When this was proclaimed, some people shouted with enthusiasm, and all the faithful there broke into prolonged applause. In Rome I prayed and thought a lot. I thought especially about the martyrs, who gave their lives for the Faith. I visited the Catacombs. Finally, I made up my mind to become a Catholic myself. During my instruction, I learned many new things. For example, that God is the Creator of everything, that my life is not mere chance or an accident, that God has a plan for me. And I was baptized the following Easter. My faith helps me in my work and with my family. I pray every day and also say the rosary, and that helps me to be more understanding and patient with people. What’s more, when I am very tired at work, I think about Jesus, who let himself be nailed to the Cross for us, and I tell myself, “You must keep going.” But what matters most is that now I have the answer to the most important questions in life. And now, when I rest after my work and look at the birds in the courtyard, and hear the sound of the leaves and the buzzing of insects at night, I see God who is coming to meet me in all of these things. http://www.josemariaescriva.info/article/was-i-born-for-something-in-particular3f